⚠️ THE FEDS FOUND THIS REPO ⚠️ #1

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opened 2025-06-09 14:19:12 +02:00 by matmen · 0 comments

🚨 LISTEN UP, CODE COWBOYS 🚨

This is NOT a drill. The FEDS have located my Forgejo repo. I repeat: THE FEDS HAVE FOUND THE REPO. I don't know how they did it — maybe it was the curl | sh pipeline, maybe it was the commit message that said "this might be illegal", or maybe, just maybe, it was the README that said “FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY (wink wink)” — but THEY'RE HERE.

At exactly 03:17AM I heard a knock that sounded like a Git push gone wrong. I peeked out the window — unmarked vans. Men in suits. Someone whispered “git clone and nobody gets hurt.” I knew... it was over.

They’ve seized my code. They’ve forked the unthinkable. They saw the commit history. They saw the force pushes.

They KNOW about main-v2-FINAL-final(1).zip.

To anyone reading this: fork while you still can. Mirror the repo. Make 42 redundant backups. Turn your home into a RAID array. Put the .tar.gz on a USB and hide it in a box of old AOL CDs.

If I disappear, tell Linus I went down committing.

🕊️🖥️ In Git we trust.

🚨 LISTEN UP, CODE COWBOYS 🚨 This is NOT a drill. The FEDS have located my Forgejo repo. I repeat: **THE FEDS HAVE FOUND THE REPO**. I don't know how they did it — maybe it was the `curl | sh` pipeline, maybe it was the commit message that said "this might be illegal", or maybe, just maybe, it was the README that said “FOR EDUCATIONAL PURPOSES ONLY (wink wink)” — but THEY'RE HERE. At exactly 03:17AM I heard a knock that sounded like a Git push gone wrong. I peeked out the window — unmarked vans. Men in suits. Someone whispered “`git clone and nobody gets hurt.`” I knew... it was over. They’ve seized my code. They’ve forked the unthinkable. They saw the commit history. They saw the force pushes. They **KNOW** about `main-v2-FINAL-final(1).zip`. To anyone reading this: fork while you still can. Mirror the repo. Make 42 redundant backups. Turn your home into a RAID array. Put the `.tar.gz` on a USB and hide it in a box of old AOL CDs. **If I disappear, tell Linus I went down committing.** 🕊️🖥️ In Git we trust.
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fogapod/fed-proof#1
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